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Monday, November 25, 2013

My doggy everyday - by Flanna Neufundi

Dear friends, I'd like to show you my regular daily dogroutine!
Here we go :
6:00 a.m. Alarm goes of, sleep on stubbornly
6.30 a.m. Somehow my master managed it to get me into the harness and to drag me outside (Doing my business sleepwalking)
7:00a.m. Waiting for breakfast ( Mum's once again too slow, I spur her by treading on her feet)
7.05 a.m. After kindly refusing the breakfast( No doggysausage in it and I don't like that other muck today) I'm taking a nap while my Mummy gives the morning grouch and sleepwalks (
She shuffles like remotely controlled around and always mumbles something about coffee)
9:00 a.m. Time to do my garden lap, thus let's hack Mummy till she drops her office work to open the patio door for me.
9.15 a.m.
Coming in with wet, earthy paws and walking through the living room, kitchen, hall in the basement. (So Mummy knows even where it has been cleaned and where not)
9.30 a.m. Waking up Rike and huffing her till she bunks ( Now the way is clear to bum some treats from Mummy! Have not even had breakfast yet !)
10 a.m. But now I gall my breakfast, mooching something from Mummy hasn't worked (unfortunatly)
10.30 - Noon Taking a nap (of course always there where Mummy wants to clean )
Noon ........... 

 Ok, where were we?? I see...
Quickly up and do not let Mummy out of sight ( Wanna have my sausage-end from Mummys lunch)
12.30 p.m. Outside again ( business, you know)
1-2.30 p.m. Nap (has to be fit for later action)
2.30 p.m. Let's have a look at Mummy ( She's resting on the sofa and definatly needs my intensive care now)
3 p.m. Goh, I fall asleep with Mummy ( nestling down and getting petted at the ear is just too nice)
3 - 6 p.m. Mummy let Rike and me in the garden (trimming the hedge, digging a hole *don't know what for* huffing Rike and playing with her, inbetween always trying to dig a hole in the waterbin *hasn't worked, only the water decreased and I got wet*
6 p.m. Welcoming Daddy and explaining to him that we didn't had a single bite the whole day long **Note from the editor: The dog has had breakfast, a lunch snack and treats in between**
8 p.m. after dinner ( At last tasty yoghurt with cranberryjuice as topping) going for the evening stroll
p.m. taking a rest (snooping and cadging treats on the way is soooo exhausting)

9.30 p.m. Fullfilling my last business in the garden, collecting bedtime treats, going upsatirs with Mummy and having a last gulp fresh from the tap (I never go to bed without it)
9.50 p.m. Cuddling in bed with Mummy (this is sooooo nice)
10 p.m. Going downstairs to my sleeping berth ** Good night friends **

 © Bea Grein
translation by Detlef Grein

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Cakenapping and a PINK revenge

Flannaaaa ???
What’s up Rike ??
There is a chocolate cake at the table and our 2leggies are busy!! *smirk*
Yeah, just look there!! *smirks broader*
yeeesss *slobber* there is really a super dooper delicious chocolate cake *slobber* on the table!!!
On the floor is already a reasonable puddle)

Just nick a piece for us Flanna!
peeps challenging* it’s no problem for you to reach it, you’re taller then me!!!
But I’m not allowed to do so, I’ll get an awful lot of scolding from mummy
lobber*(puddle gets even larger)
I’ll keep cave and give alarm if the 2leggies are coming or looking
*looks convincingly* but hurry up, before the table will be flooded by your slobber!!!!

And you really watch out Rike, dead certain?

Sure, come on now

Hurry up Flanna, get the cake!!!
k 3......2......1.........go

Woof woof woof
Shut up Rike, stop barking ..........

Down from the table, you’re off your rocker!!!
Don’t you know that your snout should not be on the table, least of all your paws

you dopey quealer........ wait till I get you *furiously stomping on her paws* you miserable turncoat!!

There was a cat Flanna i swear *putting on an innocent face* I’ve only barked because of the cat *chuckles silently
Yes sure, don’t pee down my neck and tell me it’s raining!! You did it on purpose, you sneaky bitch.
Definitly not Flanna, I would never ever do that * putting on an even more innocent face*

 Sure, we’ll talk about it later, first I’ve to curry favour with mummy……but then we’ll trash it out……take my word for it *still furious*
By the way I don’t like nut cake........

A little later in the afternoon...

......slurp, slurp, slurp..... ahhhh how refreshing! *Rike licks pleasurably her snout*
So, and now let’s play some football with the 2le…e…e.., where the heck is my ball now??
I’ve just placed it here, exactly on this spot, who was it??????? *looks deranged *Flanna, have you seen my ball???

Your ball ..... your PINK ball ???? *smirk * Your beloved pink ball ????
Yees MY pink ball !! *looks bugged*
Naaahhh I haven’t *looking as innocent as a lamb*

But it doesn’t go „poof“ *starting to search nervously*
March yourself over here Flanna !!

Yes, what’s up.....

hhha .... Ugh your totally wet around your snout
Of course, also just had a gulp and refreshed myself! Why are you nuzzling around my snout

Well, I just wanted to check if you had my pink ball. Oh bother, where is it *her nerves being at breaking point*
 Well then you’ve to search it Rike *looking astute* gonna retrieve it then.....
 I’ll do, I have to…. I must .......

Teehee if she would know ..... revenge is PINK.......

Flanna Neufundi
Rike Neuberner
There mummy

© Bea Grein
translated by Detlef Grein

Sunday, August 18, 2013

The root of all evil!!

Hi friends,I’m still done from our last excursion, that why this time my secetary can occur word!!

The alarm rings, what’s that wet in my face?My dear dog says “Good Morning” with a happy wagging tail.

Drowsy I torture myself out of bed and shamble through the corridor to the bathroom.
Suddenly, what’s that!!??
Something soft and wet under my foot.
Frighten me.
Oh no, the dog! You stand on something that belongs to the dog!!!!
A jump to the side, that poor animal should not suffer!
All within 2 seconds and without remembering the wardrobe that now says kindly „Good Morning“ to my head!
Because wardrobes are not only in the morning but in general not really chatty companions, more some of the harder kind.
It comes what must come.

A failure of the standing force and slowly sinking to the ground, combined with the fact that the left hand grasps the head straight to the place where the wardrobe said good morning!

Yet, surprise, surprise, the stars appeared again in the morning!
At least in my eyes!
Left hand on the head, stars in the eyes, the right hand scans around and finds the soft humidity!!
The view clears up and the fog gives way and that mysterious thing turns oft to be a plushie.
Plushies, that are these soft toys which the dog loves to carry in its snout until they’re drenched with slobber and it is worth to clutch them onto mummy’s face!
Later they’re left on the floor to get dry again!
A sigh of relief!Thank god, it wasn’t the dog, in the same moment a slowly rising sense of anger!
Why must that stupid piece lay around here?????
My right hand reduces the anger by giving that thing a free ride through the corridor and the open door to the living room!
Happy landing!!!!!
So now again closing my eyes, with fingering with my left hand the place of my head where, not long ago, it had the one-sided conversation with the wardrobe!
There is no a big bump.
Great, just wanted to wash my hair!
Opening m eyes again I see a mountain of fur which, happily wagging it’s tail and with a loving glance, is sitting in front of me!
The right hand already raised, the words „Nothing happened“ on the tongue and then my eyes caught sight of what was in the snout of that beloved pet, red and yellow it shines on both sides of the dog’s snout!!!
It opened it’s snout and that thing falls out, rolls and stopped exactly there where it was 3 minutes ago, before the one-sided conversation of head and wardrobe!!
Yes, there it is again, the root of all evil, the starting point of that calamity!
The plushie !!! 

By the way, I promise improvement and will now lay out my plushies on the sofa to dry!!!
Yours Flanna Neufundi  © Bea Grein
translated by Detlef Grein